Going to the Chapel Page 10

  After riding for about thirty minutes, she turned Jaeger toward the completed chapel. She’d sworn that she never wanted to see it again, but now she knew better. She not only wanted to see the chapel, she needed to see it. Needed to see Sam’s finished work and feel his energy. She hoped this time she would find comfort being in such a beautiful and peaceful place. She kicked Jaeger into a lope up the hill, as the urge to be where’d she’d first met Sam all but overwhelmed her.

  A few minutes later, she pulled Jaeger to a stop at the side of the chapel, dismounted and tied the reins to a tree, then made her way through the lush foliage and opened the front door, relieved it wasn’t locked. The minute she stepped inside, she knew she’d made the right decision. The place was magnificent. Seeing its incredible beauty no longer made her sad. In fact, it comforted her and helped her realize how much she’d healed since the day she’d come here devastated over her broken engagement.

  She looked around in wonder, soaked in the intricate woodwork, the shafts of sunlight dancing through the air, and the vibrant colors of spring dancing behind the glass ceiling panels and side windows. As the peace and beauty surrounded her, she knew she’d be okay. No matter what happened in her life, she had the inner strength to overcome it.

  Walking to the front of the chapel, she sat in the same place she’d sat when she’d met Sam. Memories of that meeting filled the silence, and she closed her eyes and soaked them in. Sam had built this exquisite and peaceful place, and she could feel his energy everywhere. He was a man who cared deeply and he was a kind man. She’d known that the minute he’d approached her as she’d sat right here, crying her eyes out.

  Drawing in a deep breath, she stood, ready to do what needed done in order to move on with her life, no matter what direction that took her. It was time she faced her fears and told Sam why she’d fled. Until she did that, she could not move forward.

  She hurried out the front door and stopped short when Brutus raced up to her, barking with glee. She knelt down and threw her arms around his neck, burying her face in his soft, furry, ruff.

  “He has good taste,” Sam said as he approached.

  Claire’s heart skipped a beat, and she couldn’t take her eyes off of him. “I was about to come see you,” she said breathlessly.

  His compassionate, green eyes soaked her in. “Looks like I beat you to it. I’ve been thinking about you a lot, Claire.”

  “I’ve been thinking about you, too,” she admitted as his words sparked a flicker of hope, which she quickly squelched. She let go of Brutus and stood. “I saw your finished work in the chapel. It filled me with peace.” She gave him a tentative smile, her heart in her throat as she waited for his response.

  “Thanks. It’s a special place. It’s where I met you.” He stepped up to her, ran his hands down her arms, and she had to fight not to lean into him. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about us,” he said. Her eyes filled with tears and she blinked hard to keep them at bay. He took her hand and led her to the gazebo, where he sat on the top step and pulled her down beside him. “I’ve missed you. A lot,” he tacked on.

  “I’ve missed you, too,” she said brokenly. “I should have called or come to see you before now, but…” She trailed off, her mind suddenly filled with worry about what she needed to say and how he would react.

  “Go on,” he encouraged.

  She swallowed hard. “I was too chicken to come see you. Or even call. The fact is, I backed off from you because I was scared.”

  His brows furrowed. “Of me?”

  She shook her head. “Of what you made me feel. I knew if I saw you any more my heart would get broken.” She swiped at a tear. “I’m not telling you this to put any pressure on you or make you feel bad,” she hurried on. “I’m telling you so you won’t think I didn’t like you.”

  He brought her hand to his lips and kissed her palm. “I liked you, too. Not seeing you has reinforced how much, but I haven’t called because I didn’t think you’d be open to seeing me.”

  She cringed. “It was the, ‘See you around,’ wasn’t it?”

  He scratched his day-old beard. “Yeah, it kinda threw me for a loop. Made me mad, and then when I calmed down, I finally admitted that I was more hurt than angry.”

  “It was the only thing I could think to say. My experience with guys has been pretty limited.”

  He settled their clasped hands on his leg. “If it makes you feel any better, my experience with the feelings you brought out in me has been pretty limited.”

  Claire’s hope flickered back to life. “How did you feel about me?” she asked before she chickened out. Brutus whined and lay at their feet. Claire rubbed his side with her foot. The dog groaned and stretched out with a contented sigh.

  “She has a way about her, doesn’t she, Brutus?” The dog lifted his head at the sound of his name, then laid it back down with another sigh. “He feels comfortable with you. Comfortable and safe.”

  Claire wondered if that was how Sam felt when he was with her. If so, that would mean he didn’t feel the all-consuming love and heart-stopping lust for her that she felt for him. Fighting down emotions, she concentrated on her surroundings, hoping to hide her hurt until she could make her escape.

  The sweet fragrance of roses that had been planted around the gazebo wafted through the warm spring air. “Was it your idea to plant rose bushes?” she asked.

  He nodded. “They made me think of you.”

  His words should have buoyed her spirits, but they didn’t. She wanted to be so much more to this man besides a comfortable companion and good friend. “They smell wonderful,” she said in a small voice.

  “They smell like you.” He took her hand. “You’ve changed since the day I met you here.” She gave him a fleeting smile and shrugged. He was right, and that was a good thing, she reminded herself. “I promised myself that day that I wouldn’t rescue you, but I still tried. Guess old habits are hard to break.”

  “I did not need rescuing,” she insisted. “Just hot sex. At least that’s what I told myself.”

  He arched his brows. “The day we met you needed a friend. Not hot sex.”

  “I know that,” she snapped. “The hot sex idea came later.”

  “Not for me,” he admitted with a sheepish grin. I knew from the minute I laid eyes on you there was something different about you.”

  “In what way?” she asked, not at all sure she wanted to hear his answer, but knowing on some level she needed to hear it.

  “You’re a lot tougher than you give yourself credit for, Claire. I knew you hurt like hell that day in the chapel, but you still pretty much held it together. You didn’t really need rescuing, and I knew that on some level, which was a good thing. I needed to break that habit,” he said with a grimace.

  “Why? Seems like a good quality to me.”

  “It can be under the right circumstances, but I don’t think a solid relationship can be founded on one person rescuing another.”

  She swallowed past the lump in her throat. “You’re probably right. Good thing I ran, isn’t it?” she teased, even though her insides twisted with hurt.

  “Actually, it is. Made me acknowledge a part of me I didn’t want to admit I had. The thing is, Claire, in the back of my mind I’ve always been wary of becoming too involved. I think I worried if I got in a long-term relationship, I might turn into my dad.”

  “Oh, Sam, you’re about as different as you could be from your father. You’re warm and caring and ready to help anything or anyone who needs it.”

  “You’re right. Only I made a promise to myself a while back to quit rescuing the world, especially people who don’t really need rescuing.”

  “And then I came along,” she whispered brokenly. “You did rescue me, you know. But in a good way. Being with you made me realize how much more I wanted in a relationship. How much had been lacking with Chris.”

  He turned her hand over and ran a fingertip on the underside of her wrist, and her heart skipp
ed a beat. “I’m flattered,” he said.

  “You should be. It’s true, and I hope you never forget it.”

  He stood, pulling her to her feet. “I haven’t forgotten anything you’ve ever told me, Claire.” He led her around to the back of the gazebo and pointed to a beautiful carved heart.

  She gasped. “SM and CC,” she whispered, tracing their initials with a fingertip as tears clogged her throat and blurred her vision. “You remembered.”

  “Of course I did. After you told me what your ex had said about carving your initials in a tree, I wanted to find him and punch him in the face for being such a jerk.”

  “You did not.” She narrowed her gaze on him. “Did you?”

  He pulled her up against him. “Part of me did—clear up until the minute I realized that if he hadn’t been such a jerk you wouldn’t be available. And I wanted you available, Claire. From the minute I saw you, I knew you were special.”

  “You saw me at my worst,” she muttered into his chest, not willing to lift her head away from his warmth and strength. God he smelled good. Clean and outdoorsy and all male.

  “Claire, look at me.” She didn’t move. She wanted to stay snuggled tight against this man forever. He tilted her head back. “Can we start over?”

  Her thoughts scrambled, warring with her emotions. “As in a fling?” she finally managed to ask.

  He blew out a long breath. “Yeah. Hopefully a life-long fling. I don’t want to lose you. I want you to be my forever girl.” He cupped her face and gave her the sweetest kiss she’d ever had.

  Claire’s heart practically burst with joy. She threw her arms around his neck and held on tight, wishing this moment could go on forever.

  He cupped her face, stroking her cheeks with his thumbs. “Thanks for saving me from myself,” he whispered.

  “I think we saved each other,” Claire responded, nibbling his neck.

  He picked her up and carried her to his truck. “I almost forgot. I got these because I planned on coming to your place as soon as I gathered enough courage.” He reached through the open window and pulled out a bouquet of roses, handed them to her. “I love you, Claire, and I want to spend the rest of my life showing you how much.”

  The scent of roses wafted between them, and Claire had to pull herself together in order to talk. “Oh, Sam, I love you so much. I never knew it could be like this.”

  He set her on the ground and turned her toward Jaeger. “Get that horse back to the stable so I can take you to bed before I lose my mind.”

  Grinning, Claire jogged over to Jaeger, her heart filled with excitement and sweet anticipation of making love to the man who had awakened her heart to the wonderful possibilities life had to offer with a man who made her believe that all her dreams could come true.

  SINCE I FOUND YOU

  Excerpt

  Paige Dillingham handed the newborn infant to the nurse to be weighed and cleaned up, relieved the baby was finally here and both he and the mother were doing fine.

  “Nine pounds, thirteen ounces,” the nurse announced after weighing him.

  Paige grinned. “Good job, Mama. You escaped a C-section by the skin of your teeth, but you’re going to be pretty darn sore for a while.”

  “You’re the reason I didn’t have to have a section,” the mother responded with a tired smile. “Thank you.”

  “I’ll second that,” her husband said from across the room where he watched the nurse tend to his newborn.

  Paige patted her patient’s leg. “It was a team effort.”

  By the time, Paige was through stitching up the mother, her husband had returned with the infant. He settled the baby in his wife’s arms. Paige watched as the smiling mother ran a fingertip over her newborn’s still-wet hair and across his velvety-smooth plump cheek. Nothing like a newborn baby’s skin to remind you how much your own skin had changed over the years. The father kissed his wife and wrapped his arms around his family. “He’s beautiful. You did good, honey.”

  “Yes, you did,” Paige confirmed. As always, Paige had to fight down her own emotions after helping a new life into the world. Pulling her mask from her face and stripping off her gown and gloves, she left the birthing room and headed for her office a few blocks away, where she could sit in the quiet and unwind as she marveled at the miracle of life.

  The minute she closed her office door behind her, she sank onto a chair, closed her eyes, and said a prayer of thanks for no complications in this difficult delivery.

  Weariness seeped into every pore of her body, and she rested her head on the back of her chair and let her gaze wander over the wall filled with pictures of babies she’d delivered. She was incredibly lucky to have a career in her life’s passion, and no matter how many times she delivered a baby, every birth was a still a miracle. She of all people understood that. That’s why helping a newborn into the world brought her, not only joy for her patient, but healing for herself. And yet her tears still came, and as they rolled down her cheeks, she welcomed the memories they brought and the knowledge that she would feel better, at least for a while, after a good cry.

  A few minutes later, she sucked in a deep breath and wiped her tears dry. Her stomach rumbled with hunger, and she shoved to her feet. Grabbing her purse from her desk drawer, she headed outside into the hot humid night. In celebration of this evening’s successful delivery, she would try out the Irish pub she often heard the nurses talk about. Shenanigans was known for its atmosphere and great food, and that sounded perfect to her. She hoped it had a cozy corner booth where she could eat a quiet, peaceful dinner and leave without having to be social, because what she needed right now was a quiet place to once again marvel at the miracle of new life. And, as always, remember the baby she had lost.

  ***

  Justin Coleman glanced around his pub, checking to make sure everyone looked happy and satisfied. As usual it was a full house. The booths on the other side of the room were filled with mostly new customers, but his regulars were bellied up to the bar or sat at nearby tables. The hum of happy voices had him grinning. This was a great place to meet up with old friends or make new ones, and he couldn’t be more pleased.

  Justin wiped down the dark walnut bar that he’d had brought in from Ireland when he’d remodeled the place. The authentic Irish bar and the huge stone fireplace that sat smack in the middle of the restaurant were his ideas, and he was glad he’d followed his instincts on them. On a cold winter’s night, people always commented on the roaring fireplace. It brought a cozy feeling to his pub, and people gravitated here because of it.

  Feeling pleased, he leaned across the bar and eyed his pregnant sister. “Sitting around for hours eating bonbons and knitting in my pub is a new low, Jillian. What happened to the sister who—and I loathe to admit this—but the sister who has been known to beat me on the ski slopes?”

  Jillian glared at him. “I’m seven months pregnant. Summer has arrived and it’s hot as hell. I miss Stan, and I’m fatter than a cow having triplets. Don’t mess with me.”

  “I see your point, and I’m prepared to be punished. That make you feel better?”

  Jillian narrowed her eyes at him. “Yes, as a matter of fact, it does.”

  With a chuckle, Justin tossed the dirty rag into the sink. “I’ll get you a steak on the house if you’ll eat it.”

  Her eyes brightened. “I should grouse more often.”

  Shaking his head, Justin headed into the kitchen to order some decent food for Jillian. He had to admit, if he were in his sister’s shoes he wouldn’t be doing any happy dances either.

  He ordered her a filet mignon, medium rare just like she preferred, salad and a baked potato, then marched back out front, prepared to snatch the box of chocolates right out from under Jillian’s nose, but stopped dead in his tracks at the gorgeous woman who stood by her table. Both women were laughing.

  He ambled over. “Glad to see someone can make my sister laugh,” he said, smiling at the red-haired lady and extending a hand.
“I’m Justin. Jillian’s caretaker at the moment. Have you come to my rescue?”

  The woman took his outstretched hand. “I’m Paige Dillingham. Your sister’s midwife. I’m told healthy food is on the way for my stubborn patient.”

  “That would be right.” Justin pulled out a chair for the woman. She hesitated but then sat. He settled on the chair between her and his sister. “Jillian’s been eating chocolate all evening, so I figured I’d better get some nourishment in her.”

  Paige turned her attention back to Jillian and looked at her pointedly. “Guess my semi-lecture at your last appointment didn’t help.”

  Jillian shrugged and Paige scowled before shifting her gaze back to Justin. “Thanks for ordering her some nutritious food,” she said with a smile.

  A smile that hit him square in the solar plexus. “Anything else you need me to browbeat your patient into doing, just let me know,” he offered. “I’m contemplating stealing her chocolates when she’s not looking.”

  Jillian slapped her knitting down on the table. “Don’t talk about me like I’m not here, Justin, and don’t even think about stealing my chocolates,” she added defiantly.

  “Come on, Jillian,” Paige said. “Give up the candy. It’s not good for you.” She held out her hand and Jillian glared at her. Justin watched, silently rooting for the midwife. Paige wiggled her fingers, her very slender and feminine fingers, and his mind clouded with out-and-out lust. “You’ll thank me someday,” Paige said. “I promise.”

  Jillian glared at her midwife, but shoved the half-empty bag of candy across the table. “I’ll only buy more.”

  Paige tucked the bag into her purse. “It’s good you’re about to eat real food, Jillian. You need something healthy for your baby.” She turned her attention back to Justin. “Think I’ll take my own advice and have the same thing Jillian’s having minus the baked potato. Medium rare on my steak.”

  Justin motioned to a waiter and gave him Paige’s order. He’d be sure to comp her meal. A thank you for stealing Jillian’s chocolates. And maybe a few points for him.” He grinned. The woman was a total knock out, and he’d sure like to get to know her. “How about a glass of wine to go with your steak?”